Which is worse?

x – Which is worse, contraception or abortion?

y – Abortion, of course. It’s killing an innocent.

x – True. But aborted children may live forever in happiness. With contraception, those destined to exist by virtue of the natural end of sexual union are contracepted out of potential existence, and will never exist.

x – Huh? That makes no sense. If a couple uses contraception there is no child to refer to in saying they will never exist.

y – Yes, but the potential human beings destined to be conceived by the baby-making act will never exist due to the unnatural act of impeding its divinely-designed end. In other words, contraception “ties the hands” of God, who is poised to create new people by virtue of the sexual act He designed to be life-giving. Remember, with each conception of a human being, the parents provide the matter and God provides the form, the spiritual soul.

x – Yes, but this is a bit too theoretical for me.

y – Okay, let’s use you for an example. You’re what, 32 years old?

x – 33.

y – Okay, let’s use our imagination to go back in time 33 years ago to the night you were conceived.

x – Ah….Not a pleasant thought, but okay.

y – Actually, if you just focus on you coming into existence, it’s an amazing, mind-blowing, and joyful thought.

x – Okay. Hmm…  Go on.

y – If your parents that day decided to use contraception, you wouldn’t exist. And since your very being depends on one particular sperm cell among millions intermingling with one particular ovum, you would never exist. Ever.

x – Whoa! You’re blowing my mind already.

y – Well, here’s my question. What would be worse – you being aborted sometime before birth, or your parents contracepting you out of potential existence?

x – Well, I, I mean … I guess it wouldn’t make a difference since I wouldn’t be aware of anything if I didn’t exist.

y – That’s not the question. The question isn’t whether you or anyone else would be aware of your non-existence; rather, it’s the conundrum of what is objectively worse and more unjust – never coming into being or being aborted before birth.

x – But there’s virtually an infinite amount of possibilities of potential people that are never created. If I marry this woman rather than that one, for example, the children from that potential marriage would never exist.

y – Yes, but we’re not just talking about all mathematical possibilities; we’re talking about intentionally perverting the act that God designed to make babies – so that He may be unable do so. It’s an unspeakable act against the sovereignty of God, who seeks to populate Heaven.

x – You think we have power over God?

y – Only the power that He gives us and allows us to use, as free-willed creatures.

x – I need to think about this a little more ….

y – Well, I think it’s safe to say that as a kind of act, abortion is probably objectively worse, since it’s objectively murder while contraception is a grave offense against chastity. But the consequences of contraception are that people like you and I never exist, while aborted people miss out on this life but may live an eternity of happiness in the next. It’s true we have no certainty of the fate of unbaptized babies; but, as Pope St. John Paul II once said, one “can entrust them with hope to the Father and His mercy.”

x – So… you’re saying you think abortion is morally worse, but contraception is consequentially worse?

y – Perhaps.

x – But…now that this has sunk in a little more…couldn’t we also make the argument that if a couple knows the act of contraception will impede a potential human being from ever existing, who was otherwise destined to live by virtue of resulting from the act of becoming one-flesh, that this could even be morally worse than ending the life of a child that already lives in the womb? I mean, all you have to do is look at it from an eternal perspective to appreciate the poignancy of your point.

y – True. It’s an important question: If a person uses contraception, clearly intending to thwart the potential existence of a unique unrepeatable human being who would never exist due to his or her unnatural contraceptive act, would this person sin more gravely, or at least accrue more guilt, than if he had his preborn child killed by abortion? Although moral theologians haven’t tackled this question head-on, the Church may benefit from deeper pondering of this moral angle.

x – Thanks for the conversation. I need to think and pray about this more. The gravity of this may be too much for me to handle, especially if I contemplate these consequences in our post-Christian contraception age. Also, most people will think I’m crazy if I bring this topic up. But I’m afraid I may have a moral obligation to do so.

y – You’re right. This will bounce off the minds of most people; but we’re obligated to plant seeds. And regardless of our conclusions on this particular question, everyone who knows better ought to share the gravity of this problem. Pray for the virtue of prudence in discerning how and when.

X – Thanks, buddy. Although I can’t imagine the alternative, it’s great to be, isn’t it?

y – It sure is. Be well.

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