x – Which is worse, contraception or abortion?

y – Abortion, of course. It’s killing an innocent.

x – True. But aborted children may live forever in happiness after death. With contraception, those destined to exist by virtue of the natural end of sexual union are contracepted out of potential existence, and will never exist.

x – Huh? That makes no sense… If a couple uses contraception there is no child to refer to in saying that they will never exist.

y – Yes, but the potential human beings destined to be conceived by virtue of the baby-making act will never exist due to the unnatural act of impeding its divinely-designed end. In other words, the sex act prompts God to create an unrepeatable unique person, but contraception “ties His hands”, keeping Him from doing so. Remember, with each conception of a human being, the parents provide the matter and God provides the form, the spiritual soul.

x – Yes, but this is a bit too theoretical for me.

y – Okay, let’s get a little more concrete and use you as an example. You’re what, 32 years old?

x – 33.

y – Okay, let’s allow our imagination to go back in time 33 years to the night you were conceived.

x – Not a pleasant thought, but okay.

y – Actually, if you just focus on you coming into being, it’s an amazing, mind-blowing, and joyful thought.

x – Okay. Hmm…  Go on.

y – If your parents that day decided to use contraception, you wouldn’t exist. And since your very being depends on one particular sperm cell among millions intermingling with one particular ovum among hundreds, you would never exist. Ever.

x – Whoa! You’re blowing my mind already.

y – So, here’s my question. What would be worse – you being aborted sometime before birth, or your parents contracepting you out of potential existence?

x – Well, I, I mean … I guess it wouldn’t make a difference, since I wouldn’t have been aware of anything had I never existed.

y – Consciousness is not the question. The question isn’t whether you or anyone else would be aware of your non-existence; rather, it’s the conundrum of what is objectively worse and more unjust – never coming into being or being aborted before birth.

x – But there’s virtually an infinite amount of possibilities of potential people that are never created. If I marry this woman rather than that one, for example, the children from the potential marriage that never happened would never exist.

y – Yes, but we’re not just talking about all mathematical possibilities; we’re talking about intentionally perverting the act that God designed to make babies – human beings that will exist forever – so that He may be unable do so. It’s an unspeakable act against the sovereignty of God, who seeks to populate Heaven.

x – You think we have power over God?

y – Only the power that He gives us and allows us to use, as free-willed creatures.

x – I need to think about this a little more ….

y – Well, I think it’s safe to say that as a kind of act, abortion is probably objectively worse, since it’s objectively murder, while contraception is a grave offense against chastity. But the consequences of contraception are that people like you and I never exist, while aborted people miss out on this life but may live an eternity of happiness in the next. It’s true we have no certainty of the fate of unbaptized babies; but, as Pope St. John Paul II once said, one “can entrust them with hope to the Father and His mercy.” Even if they end up in a Limbo-type stste, isn’t everlasting natural happiness better than non-existence?

x – So… you’re saying you think abortion is morally worse, but contraception is consequentially worse?

y – Perhaps.

x – But…now that this has sunk in a little more…couldn’t we also make the argument that if a couple knows the act of contraception will impede a potential human being from ever existing, who was otherwise destined to live by virtue of the natural purpose of the one-flesh union, that this could even be morally worse than ending the life of a child that already lives in the womb? I mean, all you have to do is look at it from an eternal perspective to appreciate the poignancy of your point.

y – True; it’s an important question: If a person uses contraception, clearly intending to thwart the existence of a unique unrepeatable human being who would never exist due to his or her unnatural contraceptive act, would this couple sin more gravely, or at least accrue more guilt, than if they had their preborn child killed by abortion? Although moral theologians haven’t tackled this question head-on, the Church may benefit from deeper contemplation of this moral angle.

x – Thanks for the conversation. I need to think and pray about this more. The gravity of this may be too much for me to handle, especially if I ponder all the consequences in our post-Christian age of contraception. Also, most people will think I’m crazy for even bringing up this topic, since we live in such a morally blind era. But I fear I may have a moral obligation to do so.

y – You’re right. This will bounce off the minds of most people; but we’re obligated to plant seeds. And, regardless of our conclusions on this particular question, everyone who knows better ought to share the beauty of life-giving love and gravity of this anti-life problem. Pray for the virtue of prudence in discerning how and when.

X – Thanks, buddy. Although I can’t imagine the alternative, it’s great to be, isn’t it?

y – It sure is. Be well.